This was a short dialogue scene I wrote for a writing competition in January 2021 given the prompt "Write an interesting situation involving two people. Include dialogue, and make sure the people have something to do while talking. Maximum: 300 words."
I won the category!
“Hello, is this the Fargo Health Department?” I asked when someone finally picked up the phone.
“This is. What can I help you with?” she said.
“Well, there’s this pigeon who has taken up residence in my house. He’s been there for a few weeks and he constantly poops on everything, eats my food off the plate and scratches up the wall,” I said, ducking down as the pigeon in question dive-bombed me with his claws out.
“Alright. Are you requesting a permit for this?” the Health Officer said. I started to answer when I saw the pigeon stealing a bite from my sandwich.
“Um- hold on a minute, he’s eating my lunch,” I said as I put the phone down and chased off the gray menace.
“Yeah, I would like a permit to hire an exterminator and get rid of him,” I said. The pigeon gave me a death glare.
“Alright. You said that the bird has been attacking you for a few weeks, correct?” She asked.
“Yes. He’s been terrorizing my house and I want him gone!”
“Alright. I need your name and address to finalize the permit,” she said.
“Um- okay. Jordan Brauch, 123 Unnamed Street, Fargo, North Dakota,” I said, sitting down to eat my partially eaten sandwich. Birdseed breath again. Great.
“You should have your permit within three to five business days, after which you can exterminate the pigeon on your own or hire a professional to do it,” the officer said.
“Thank you,” I said. I hung up, then picked up the sandwich and took a bite.
“Your days are numbered, pest. Now that I have my permit, you’re as good as gone,” I said. The pigeon glared at me and squawked. I ignored it and enjoyed one of my last pigeon-tainted lunches.